Various Quotes from people mentioned in CAH
Just swallow; I swear I am gluten free!–El Dookie-Circa 2013
Good luck with your soup!–CU Next Tuesday-Circa 2013
Last time we did something low key, we went to Boston Market; you had the meat loaf and I had the chicken pot pie–Yakimo-Circa 2014
I quit kindergarten because I don’t play!–Billy Jack-Circa 2010
What about dick, can you eat that? It’s paleo, right?–El Dookie-Circa 2014
2 boobies + 2 boobies = no boobies—Sammy-Circa 1998
I think I fucked a squirrel last night; I can’t be positive though!–El Dookie-Circa 1995
She had a vaganus, it sort of all ran together!–El Dookie-Circa 2014
That shouldn’t count as cheating, it was a classic case of accidentalingus!–El Dookie-Circa 2011
You look like a homeless hooker!–El Dookie-Circa 2015
Excuse me father, any particular reason why you or the nuns never stopped by my room?–El Dookie-Circa 2015
I don’t do asswork, if a chick wants asswork she better talk to the assman; I don’t do asswork!–Buck Cactus-Circa 1994
That chick smelled like Smokey Mountain Rain!–Sammy-Circa 1997
They aren’t even real cops dude; they are Texas Rangers…..OH FUCK!!!–El Dookie-Circa 1994
She had the biggest set of tits I had ever seen in my life. A chance like that only comes around once in a lifetime; it was like the Areola Borealis!–El Dookie-Circa 2012
No fine, I am thanks!–Sammy-Circa 1996
Hello Sam, this is Thomas de los Santos de la Batista, I am going to kill you, you mother fucker!!!–Buck Cactus-Circa 1994
What’s up Strawberry Slutcake?–El Dookie-Circa 2014
You can study over here; perhaps we could engage in some studylingus!–El Dookie-Circa 2005
That dork played the meat flute in high school band!–El Dookie-Circa 1999
It was a classic case of fuck me, no fuck you!–Sammy-Circa 1998
Ding Ding Ding, you are a loner; I have finally figured you out!–Brother-Circa 2014
Excuse me ‘mam, can I take a picture of you peeing?–El Dookie-Circa 2002
Hey, it’s the Peterbilt man! No thanks, I will take a raincheck!–Brother-Circa 2002
I’m about to clean house on this mother fucker!–Buck Cactus-Circa 1997
Did that midget just flip me off?–El Dookie-Circa 1999
Hey, that whore just double dipped Muffins!–El Dookie-circa 2000
You speak spanish, right; bueno means good, but panocha is better?–El Dookie-Circa 2004
This is fucked up like clown pussy!–Buck Cactus-Circa 2012
I almost wore that same outfit yesterday!–El Dookie-Circa 1998-Present
That chick is like a walking petri dish!–Sammy-Circa 2005
Dude, that chick had two different sized tits; she could win 1st. and 2nd. place in a wet t-shirt contest!–El Dookie-Circa 2008
I lost my testicle, have you seen it? It just rolled out of the restroom!–Big Daddy-Circa 1999
I licked your butthole the other night, I assumed we had that part of our intamcy worked out.–El Dookie-Circa 2014
Shut up you hermophrodite or I am going to kick you in your things!–Buck Cactus-Circa 1998
I just sported wood in the weight room!–El Dookie-Circa 1996
What are your thoughts on assplay?–Yakimo-Circa 2001
I feel like a wild animal just ate me and shit me off the side of a cliff!–El Dookie-Circa 1999
I really don’t give a fuck about your Elvis memorabilia right now Terry!–Buck Cactus-Circa 1994
Does anyone else here think that bitch looks just like Janet Reno? Oops, that is your mother, my bad!–El Dookie-Circa 2004
Hello Sam, this is Vidal, I need to speak to you honey; I am in heat baby!!–Buck Cactus-Circa 1994
You are very mamnificent!–El Dookie-Circa 2015
We just fucked the sheets off the bed!–CU Next Tuesday-Circa 2011
That chick just kicked me in the clown!–El Dookie-Circa 2010
I have this taste in my mouth, you know, like some wild animal just took a shit in it!–El Dookie-Circa 1995
I had windshorts on and I started getting a hard-on, I started thinking about crashing trains and screaming babies!–Brother-Circa 1995
Umm nurse, could you go tell the doctor that I changed my mind on those pain killers, my nuts are killing me!–El Dookie-Circa 2010
I ain’t dusting no damn furniture!!!–Buck Cactus-Circa 1994
Excuse me ‘mam, would you like a mustache ride for a quarter?–El Dookie-Circa 2007
That chick was a 1 trick pony!–Sammy-Circa 2005
If you and Trinity from the Matrix had kids, they would be too lazy to do Tae Know Do!–Brother-Circa 2004
Excuse me, are you the manager, this sandwich tastes like clown taint!–El Dookie-Circa 2013
They call me big daddy, because I am big like a truck and smooth like a caddy!–El Dookie-Circa 1998
I am not exactly sure how I may have gotten tuberculosis, but let’s just pretend that I did; can you just go ahead and write me a prescription and not mention this to my wife; i will be on my way?–El Dookie-Circa 2005
Washrags, washrags; yeah I guess. Washrags!–Cousin-Circa 2000
That dipshit looks like he has an extra chromosome!–El Dookie-Circa 1999
I don’t get this guy, he stutters 23 hours a day; give him a Miller Lite and a chick and he is smooth as silk!–El Dookie-Circa 2000
Your breath smells like Bigfoot’s taint–Brother-Circa 2013
