Luke Shittalker

I am in a predicament!  Not just because I want to boycott the entire Star Wars franchise, but because I’m going to root for the Dark Side from this point forward.  Seriously, I have been pulling for the Rebellion since the first time I watched A New Hope, circa 1980.  Now my former hero, who is probably hung like Yoda, has joined the left side of the force.  I get it, nothing can bring a has-been out of the shadows of Corvette Summer like running his mouth about Donald J. Trump or perhaps releasing a sex tape with Chewbacca!  mark-hamill-to-announce-a-corvette-summer-sequel-in-england-jpeg-55333This guy has been out of any decent work since Return of the Jedi!  Obviously I am excluding that 10-second cameo in The Force Awakens, you know, that one he had to sober up for and get a day-pass from some weight loss camp.  Mark Hamill has become so irrelevant in movies that he probably quit forwarding his home phone to his cell and he pays his agent by the hour.

 


Here is why our limp-sabered friend has pissed off more than a few:

mh-twitterIn 2012 he said this about Mitt Romney:  “Not Actually Human.”  Ok Jedi scumbag, your character has been across the galaxy; if he is not human what is he?  Better question, what species is Rosie O’Donnell?  My guess, Jaba the Cunt!


After the 2016 election, he said this about the results: “In total denial.”  Well, I am still in total denial about those lackluster performances against Darth Vader.


the-killing-joke-will-be-released-in-theaters-for-one-night-onlyHere is what Hamill told the outlet of his new Web series about comics and memorabilia collectors:  “I’m glad I have [the show Pop Culture Quest] to take my mind off what’s going on.  Because if you look at what’s being assembled for our government it’s like, yikes.  It’s a who’s-who of really despicable people.”  Right, because nobody in that slushpit called Hollywood is despicable!  


And finally, in response to a move to Canada after the election:  “Tempting.”  I have only one thing I would like to say to Luke Shittalker, GO TAKE A FLYING FUCK BACK TO TATTOINE!  Go back to that sandy shithole you used to call home.


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