The Presidential Election in #Hashtags

There is nothing like waking up at 5am for a front row ticket to the end of America. 

I think this election has come down to the following scandals, in no particular order:

#HOUSEKEEPERGATE

One candidate called an overweight foreign citizen ‘Miss Housekeeping’ 

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Alicia Machado

The other had her foreign housekeeper printing off classified documents

marina-santos

Marina Santos

The media spent hundreds of hours covering only one housekeeper; you know, the Venezuelan that was under contract to maintain her appearance, but got some tough love about her weight and went on to do great things like star in a porno, have a baby with a drug cartel leader, drive a getaway car in a murder, and threaten a judge.  The one that conveniently got her citizenship in time to campaign and vote for Hillary.

We will never know anything about the other housekeeper and what she did with those documents!  These weren’t just the classified emails that were spread all over the world, this was printing off documents out of the SCIF in Clinton’s Washington DC residence.  When your maid is in charge of all of your classified documents, I guess that is how you coin the term “Wipe it with a cloth!”   Hillary should spend the rest of her life in prison with Chelsea Manning.  Just for this! 


#PARTYGATE

If both of these candidates make you nauseous, consider the two parties they represent.

donkey

There have been over a hundred thousand emails and dozens of undercover videos released this cycle that show a clear distinction between the two major parties:

  • The Democrats accuse the Republicans of inciting violence at rallies, but they pay instigators to do it.
  • The Democrats accuse the Republicans of voter fraud, but they pay outside consultants to mange it.
  • The Democrats accuse the Republicans of racism, but it is deeply rooted in their own party.
  • The Democrats accuse the Republicans of gender bias, but emails show a gender gap in their own salaries.
  • The Democtrats accuse the Republicans of being intolerant towards the LGBT community, but they are funded by countries that execute their own LGBT community.
  • The Democrats accuse the Republicans of being xenophobic, does anyone even know what the fuck that means?

#MOUTHGATE

Donald Trump has a mouth, that shouldn’t come as a shocker!  I think most of the time he is misunderstood and the media jumps all over it.  Like Bill Clinton jumping on an intern. For example:

They’re sending people that have lots of problems, and they’re bringing those problems with us. They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists. And some, I assume, are good people.”  Are drugs coming accross our border?  When is the last time you saw a coca plant growing in Utah?  Are they bringing in crime?  Last time I checked, the MS-13 gang isn’t a spin-off from an all-white chess club!  Are they rapists?  In Texas alone, over 2,000 illegal aliens have been deported for sex crimes, recently.  They come right back!  Some probably are good people, I am sure that the tens of thousands of unaccompanied minors mean no harm.

“You could see there was blood coming out of her eyes, Blood coming out of her wherever.”  Does any normal non-retarded person think that Donald Trump would go on national TV and talk about Megyn Kelly spewing vaginal flow?  Give me a break!

“We’re going to have a thing called ‘extreme vetting.’ And if people want to come in, there’s going to be extreme vetting. We’re going to have extreme vetting. They’re going to come in and we’re going to know where they came from and who they are.”  Yeah, so what?  I dont recall two old Mexican men in Chevy’s fighting over a parking spot, causing the two World Trade Center Towers to collapse!  That certainly wasn’t a Japanese man yelling BANZAI when that plane crashed into the Pentagon.  I am pretty sure that wasn’t a Cherokee Indian smoking a peace pipe when that plane crash landed into a field Pennsylvania.

“He’s not a war hero. He’s a war hero because he was captured. I like people who weren’t captured.”  That may have been the dumbest comment I have ever heard!  He could have said that John McCain was a horrible lifelong politician, he was an asshole to his ex-wife, his daughter looks like she is always about to explode; anything but this.  This may have been the final nail in the coffin!  I think John McCain was/is a hero.

john-mccain

And finally: “Only Rosie O’Donnell!”  Quite possibly the funniest thing said this election cycle!


#OPENTHEFLOODGATE

When you let the entire world come stumbling in and you offer them free cash, housing, education, healthcare, food, and cellphones; who wouldn’t scurry across our border?  The problem with this is that the workers who pay for this are getting outvoted by the people who reap this.  The same is true for those who live off of domestic entitlements.  This is set into perpetual motion by the likes of Hillary Clinton and the Democratic Party.  When the unemployment rate is at a skewed 4.6%, but there is another 96M people out of work, what is the benefit of letting millions more into our country?  Last time I checked, they are unemployed when they cross that border.

aliens


#TAXGATE

I believe this was a major flaw with the Trump Campaign.  I am not convinced that Trump’s audit wasn’t slow-rolled by the IRS, and I expect it to be completed very soon after the election.  Maybe Donald J. Trump avoided taxes by taking a capital loss, but this is a legal deduction that anyone can do on TurboTax!  Running an international company the size of the Trump brand has risks and tons of exposure to risk.  Taking a loss in a downturn economy was on par with thousands of other businesses in that timeframe.  What I still can’t get over is how two life-long politicians took a $700,000 loss from giving speeches and used the exact same deduction!  And this is when their party claims that the economy is steamrolling ahead!

hillary-tax-loss


#CHARITYGATE

Donald Trump has maintained that he has donated millions to charity.  Others say he didn’t.  It is an unknown.  Here is what we do know, The Clinton Foundation has raised almost $2B since it’s inception.  The Clinton campaign claims that 90% of this money goes to charity, she even said that in a debate and that creepy-ass Kaine says it all the time.  Only 5-6% goes to charity, the rest goes to salaries, travel, Chelsea’s wedding, etc.  Where does the Clinton’s personal tax-deductible charity money go?  Right back to the Clinton Foundation!  The very definition of a vicious cycle.


#PUPPETGATE

Russian puppets for $200 Alex?  Hillary claims that Donald Trump is Vladmir Putin’s puppet and that former campaign manger Paul Manafort is behind dealings with Russia in the Ukraine.  Manfort quit the campaign quickly after this came out.

Hillary on the other hand has had her own pro-Kremlin ambitions.  URANIUM ONE.  I tried to put this deal in a flowchart, but it got too complicated.  Here are the facts:

  • Uranium One donated heavily ($2.35M) to the Clinton Foundation
  • Bill Clinton was paid $500K to do a speech in Moscow
  • Russia’s state atomic energy agency, Rosatom, purchased Uranium One
  • Russia now owns 20% of the US uranium stockpile

And then you have her campaign manager, John Podesta’s dealings with Russia.  Why didn’t he resign?

In response to the earlier statement: “Who is Hillary Clinton, Alex?”


#SHEETGATE

Who has heard David Duke’s name in the last 20-something years?  When he endorsed Donald Trump, that’s all you heard.  And when Donald Trump didn’t disavow the endorsement at least two-dozen times in the first five minutes, then that is all you heard!  And then the Ku Klux Klan’s newspaper, The Crusader, endorsed Trump.  Maybe they like his position on child care.

What happened when Hillary Clinton was endorsed by Grand Dragon Will Quigg?  You may be asking: “Will who dafuq?”  Oh yeah, and she took $20K in donations from Ku Klux Klan members.  This barely made the classified ads page in most newspapers.


#PUSSYGATE

Yeah, this one almost took him down!  It is every man’s Achilles heel:

Most guys just don’t get caught on video talking about it.  Billy Bush apologized; I stand firm in my opinion that he is the pussy in this whole ordeal.


#WEINERGATE

This ass-hat may have brought down the entire Clinton machine!  We will know better tonight.  Disgraced Former Congressman and 5% of the vote Former Mayoral Candidate Anthony Weiner.  I actually thought he dealt the final throat punch to Hillary, but James Comey thought otherwise.  Wondering who could screw up thirty years of politics?

This Guy ☟cq_hkn1xeaqmblr


#SERVERGATE

aol-youve-got-mail-alert

The grandaddy of all scandals, corruption, incompetence, cover-ups and lies!  It may be years before we get to the bottom of this.  Seventy-five to be exact, per the State Department!


Here is my final thought, if Hillary wins, she will be a two-term president.  Here is why, Obama won because he was the first black candidate with a shot at it.  He jumped in line in front of Hillary because Democrats needed the black vote!  If you didn’t vote for him you were a racist.  At the end of the first term, America saw that he was a disaster but he won a second term because nobody wanted to fire an African-American.  See the trend here?  He would probably get elected to a third term if he ran!  The first three-term black president!  People are voting for Hillary only because she is a woman.  By that rationale, if she nose-dives this country any further, she will get elected to a second term.  We will be sexist if we fire a woman!

If Trump wins, who knows?  One thing is for sure, these lazy bureaucrats sitting around Washington DC are gone.  He will clean house!  Competent people will return to all aspects of our government.  Oh, and he will build that fucking wall!

trump-wall

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