Miss Piggy

Alicia Machado became a U.S. citizen this year, just in time to vote for Hillary!

Hillary threw out a zinger on Monday and Trump failed to go for a throat punch!  I talked about Alicia Machado on the 2nd. episode of The El Dookie Show, back in August.  This should come as no surprise that Hillary would use her to humiliate Trump in front of an estimated 90 million viewers.  He took the bait and it was a classic hook-line-sinker:

HOLT: Very quickly, because we’re at the final question now.

CLINTON: You know, he tried to switch from looks to stamina. But this is a man who has called women pigs, slobs and dogs, and someone who has said pregnancy is an inconvenience to employers, who has said…

TRUMP: I never said that.

CLINTON: …. women don’t deserve equal pay unless they do as good a job as men.

TRUMP: I didn’t say that.

CLINTON: And one of the worst things he said was about a woman in a beauty contest. He loves beauty contests, supporting them and hanging around them. And he called this woman “Miss Piggy.” Then he called her “Miss Housekeeping,” because she was Latina. Donald, she has a name.

TRUMP: Where did you find this? Where did you find this?

CLINTON: Her name is Alicia Machado.

TRUMP: Where did you find this?

Instead of dropping an Atomic Bill Bomb, Trump restrained himself, which should speak volumes about his trigger finger on our nuclear arsenal.

Here is what we know about Alicia Machado:


AP, Associated Press

Jan. 23, 1998 6:39 PM ET

CARACAS, Venezuela (AP) _ The Venezuelan beauty queen who made headlines two years ago for putting on weight after being crowned Miss Universe is back in the news.

A lawyer for a man who was shot outside a church in November said Friday that Alicia Machado, 21, was seen driving the car in which her boyfriend sped away from the scene of the shooting. Francisco Sbert Mousko suffered brain damage when two bullets punctured his skull outside a church where his dead wife was being eulogized.

Sbert’s family said the alleged gunman, Sbert’s brother-in-law Juan Rodriguez Reggeti, had accused Sbert of driving his sister to commit suicide.

“Our accusations against Alicia Machado are based on coinciding testimony from witnesses, who place her in the vehicle in which Juan Rodriguez fled the scene,” said Omar Arenas Candelo, one of three attorneys who presented the allegations to a criminal court late Thursday.


STEVEN GUTKIN, Associated Press

Feb. 5, 1998 4:36 PM ET

CARACAS, Venezuela (AP) _ A Venezuela judge said Thursday a former Miss Universe threatened to kill him after he indicted her boyfriend for attempted murder.

Venezuelan beauty queen Alicia Machado threatened “to ruin my career as a judge and … kill me,” Judge Maximiliano Fuenmayor said on national television.

The 21-year-old Machado, who created an international stir in 1996 when she gained 35 pounds after being crowned Miss Universe, allegedly called the judge after he issued an arrest warrant Wednesday for Juan Rafael Rodriguez Regetti.

Rodriguez, 26, is accused of shooting and wounding his brother-in-law, Francisco Antonio Sbert Mousko, outside a church in Caracas last November where Sbert’s wife _ Rodriguez’s sister _ was being eulogizing.

Rodriguez apparently blamed Sbert for driving her to commit suicide.

The victim’s family accused Machado of driving the getaway car, but Fuenmayor has not indicted her, citing insufficient evidence. The judge said there were no witnesses to place Machado at the scene _ or to back up her claim she was home sick at the time.

Fuenmayor said he planned to open a new case against Machado for Wednesday’s threatening phone call.

In the past two decades, Venezuela has had four Miss Universes, four Miss Worlds and two Miss Internationals _ the world’s top beauty title record.



6/13/05 11:42 am

We had heard nothing about this Bobby Abreu story from last month. Maybe it’s because we don’t watch Spanish language TV. But still.

Here’s the details, if you’re as in the dark as we were. The Phillies outfielder — enjoying the greatest season of his career, by the way; right around the time this story broke, he hit homers in six consecutive games — was engaged to former Miss Universe Alicia Machado. In May, she appeared on a Mexican reality television show called “La Granga (The Farm)” and … had sex with a fellow cast member on camera. Needless to say, Abreu was not a fan of this — as Jason Mulgrew points out, Latin men tend not to handle such matters well — called off the engagement and subsequently went on his homer barrage. We still think this might have been cooked up by Phillies general manager Ed Wade and manager Charlie Manuel, like in Fast Times at Ridgemont High, when they smashed Louis’ car right before the football game. But we still can’t believe we hadn’t heard about this, mostly.

“El Indio” was daughter Alicia Machado


PGR protected witnesses say the former Miss Universe had a daughter with Jose Gerardo Alvarez, arrested today and attended the christening Hector and Arturo Beltran Leyva and Edgar Valdes Villarreal, “La Barbie”.


Jose Gerardo Alvarez Vazquez, “El Indio”, presented today by the Federal Police and detained by federal jointly with the Army, had an affair with former Miss Universe Alicia Machado and fathered a daughter.

Protected witnesses in preliminary investigation PGR / SIEDO / UEIDCS / 359/2008 indicate that the model also had a daughter in 2008 and girl christening was attended by Arturo Beltran Leyva, the “boss of bosses”, his brother Hector Beltran and Edgar Valdes Villarreal, “La Barbie,” who today fight the ownership of the cartel Beltran.

According to the report, Edgar Bayardo del Villar, protected witness who was executed on December 1 last in a cafe in the Colonia del Valle was the first to testify about the romantic relationship between the two characters.

At the end of the day, I have to give credit to Trump.  The ‘fat shaming’ worked!  Alicia Machado has never looked better.  I would have expected a subsidiary, somewhere in the Trump Organization that manufactured Trump fat pills, but a few kind words worked wonders.


OH YEAH, did I mention that her porn video has leaked (WARNING):



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